You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
