absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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