just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
