You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
