Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize