And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
