did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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