Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize