I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
