i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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