so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
