Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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