I'm lost and stupid without you.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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