I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
