so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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