The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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