she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
