yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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