i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
