My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
