The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
