I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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