Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone came in the potted fern
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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