The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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