I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
