i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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