you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think your dad took our porno
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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