I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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