Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
