he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
