Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
