Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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