And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
