I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
