he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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