fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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