So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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