Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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