I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
