Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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