oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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