Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
