Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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