Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
