Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
