You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
