i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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