Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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