whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
