You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
