I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
