i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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