yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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