somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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