Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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